V is for Vibe ... A - Z Challege

Past couple days, I've been feeling this VIBE that Roscoe was about to contact me. Maybe because Cinco de Mayo is our anniversary of first meeting.

My vibe was correct. I anticipated it would be two days (Sat.) when he'd text me. Bingo. He texted me last night. And then called me. Very drunk. 2am. Of course, I was wide awake watching prison documentaries, my favorite Saturday night activity. DZP was asleep, so I took Roscoe's call.

I couldn't understand much of what he tried to say. Incoherent. Almost black out drunk...I can read his voice and know what level of drunkenness he's at. But I really wanted to hear some of his LA stories. Why? No idea. I shouldn't care. I was more curious than anything. In my warped mind, I pictured him living the high life, a party every night, girl on each arm. A new, sparkly life for him.

Maybe I wanted to see if i was right about those delusions.

Not right. I texted him this morning and told him I'd be calling shortly, and that I wanted to talk to him, knowing he'd be sober. He complied. And debunked all my delusions about his new life in LA.

First, he's very lonely. None of his friends back home traveled to visit him in the six months he's been in LA. He seemed surprised and very hurt by this.

I asked about the women. I pictured him with a harem of sluts.

There were no women, although I'm sure he tried to mingle and land a new girlfriend. But alas...no one. Last night when we spoke while he was wasted, he kept repeating, "I need a girlfriend. I need someone."

That's his modus operandi...find a lonely, successful woman, shack up with them, and then the woman takes care of everything, including him. Frankly, I'm surprised he hasn't found a GF yet. Roscoe, being very attractive and good in bed with a big dick ... I always thought replacing me with another would be easy for him.

He shared all the concerts he attended, the bars, the sites...celebrities he met. Claimed he kissed Chloe Sevigny (actress) on the hand while escorting her through a crowd at a concert.

Wondering if that's true. Maybe it is...because he always idolized her. Seems far fetched though. Perhaps he merely saw her and had that fantasy in his head. He's been known to exaggerate.

Told me he missed his family. And me. Of course. I'd miss *me* -- all the shit I did for him. Was a wonderful girlfriend.

Actually, I felt great empathy for Roscoe. Especially when he told me about his drinking, which is spiraling out of control. Example - after drinking all night, he sleeps in his car 'til morning. Since he's driving on a suspended license, he doesn't want to take the risk. Sleeping in your car??? He wakes up around 5am and drives himself back to the flat he's squatting in. He claims to perpetuate this ritual on a nightly basis.

Fuck me.

He said AA can't help him. I spoke about my sobriety. He said it was nice to talk to me when I am coherent. He added that speaking to me while I'm sober was like the old days, when I was *more* myself.

All I could think -- "Was I really that bad?" Then again, it's one alcoholic telling another alcoholic how bad she was...without taking a look at himself or what role he played in it. Alcoholics are primed to always blame others without taking responsibility for themselves.

Bro's building project, which Roscoe has been working on and earning pay, is almost over. No more gig and no more money. He leaves LA in a week. His buddy, with whom he has been living, is packing up for Malibu. I guess Roscoe wasn't invited.

You'd think since Roscoe loves LA (the lifestyle), he'd find a way to make it work. But no, he'll keep running. He doesn't trust himself enough to make it on his own. He's never *had* to.

He plans to drive to Detroit and live with his friend Dan (also an alcoholic, but more functioning). While there, I have no doubt his drinking will escalate even more. But Dan has a job, pays his bills, has a schedule to follow. Roscoe -- nothing.

Eventually, he's coming back to town. That's what he said. And for some reason I felt relieved.