Just getting a head start on Thursday. Posting late on Wed night. A lil high.
I'm sad....just heard from my guy (DZP). Looks like his younger son, the trouble maker, (16 yrs old) will be spending the entire weekend with us. Now, please understand, I do enjoy having his two sons over, as it makes me feel like I have a lil family. It's just lately, his youngest son, whom his mother doesn't pay any attention to ..... well.... he's **always** over at my house now when I'm with DZP.
His name is Jake.
I have no children. I see this as an opportunity to make a family, but his youngest son of two, Jake, is a little shit. His grades are poor and he likes skateboarding. Jake is very sweet to me, although I recently tripped outside a bar after dinner a couple weeks ago, and he couldn't stop laughing.
An innocent mistake on my part (yes I was a lil drunk)...he took it upon himself to ridicule me. As only a 16 year old could do. After having skinned my knee and repositioned myself as if nothing ever happened, I couldn't help but hate ... Jake.
Fuck you, I thought.
I've bought Jake several vaporizers, since he's addicted to smoking. And treated DZP and Jake to dinners on a number of occasions. But lately it's felt like a JOB... to take care of Jake. To be the surrogate mom.
I shouldn't be so selfish, knowing that I'll have my DZP from next Wed - Mon. in Vegas for the rockabilly weekender. Maybe I'm angry because I have no children of my own with which to torture DZP.
Yeah pretty sure that's it.
Also no mother or father of my own with whom he has to pass a test ---- my family is dead.
I so look forward to my weekends with DZP...but since he has sons, and I don't have anyone but them,
I often feel as if it's another part-time JOB.
Trying to be grateful.
Your lament is by no means unique, Ruby, it is the story of step-parenting partners everywhere. It is so very hard to deal with the added responsibilities such a relationship brings, and most often these kids are truly needy and desperate for love and stability, having obviously come from broken homes. It says a lot that he likes you, and I know that at this age they can be pretty difficult/obnoxious. That isn't just relegated to step-kids either. :-) My sister had two step-daughters that lived with them from the time they were very young. They were close and loved her a lot, but high-school years were extremely challenging and often hurtful. Now that they have families of their own they are back to doing fine.
ReplyDeleteI can understand that you would much prefer to have DZP to yourself and not have to do extra duty on the weekends, but he comes as a package deal, and there are some blessings in that too. Try to be patient and give Jake a few years to get his act together, and tell his Dad to get a leash on that smart-ass attitude if he laughs at you when you are drunk. You do not need another person telling you what you already know about that. Seek out something you and Jake can enjoy together, just the two of you, and hopefully you won't end up killing each other by Monday! (((HUGS)))
I can understand that you would much prefer to have
Sixteen year olds can be tough. Sometimes it is hard for even their own parents to love them. I understand what you are feeling. Try to find a happy spot with Jake. He is "part of the package" (as he should be).
ReplyDeleteI've enjoyed your A-Z posts that I've read. I think you might enjoy, and find inspiration from Betsey at http://www.momoffmeth.com.
I'm interested in your story. Read my post http://fancyranci.blogspot.com/2013/02/his-final-years.html. It is about my dad.
Good luck!
Tx ranci! just visited your blog and loving it. Very honest. Totally following!
DeleteParenthood is far more difficult than a job...especially parenting teenagers! It's even tougher when those children were raised by someone else, forcing you to deal with the poor parenting decisions they made.
ReplyDeleteVisiting from the A to Z signup list. Great to meet you!
Stephanie Faris, author
http://stephie5741.blogspot.com